IrishLuckyLass’ Neighborhood

Our dear friends, the Akins, invited Gavin and me over to spend the Fourth with them and their family and classmates. It was great to get out of the house, and for Gavin to play with his best buddy Jackson. They played for a few hours and by the end of the afternoon, both were worn out. Gavin barely stayed awake for his bath, and was sound asleep within 2 minutes of being laid down. I'm stuffed from all the delicious food!! So I know I'll sleep well tonight too!

Mom and Gavin

Gavin on the 4th

We finally got the much needed rain today, and I didn't get the grass mowed... oh well, maybe tomorrow it will dry out and it won't be a big dusty mess when I try to mow it. Tonight, I think I'm going to settle in with a cup of coffee and watch Night at the Museum that I borrowed from Elizabeth.

Gavin is going to be disappointed that Lauren (my niece) isn't coming tomorrow, but she's not feeling so great. So hopefully we'll get to see her next weekend, I think we're going to head out there to see them on Saturday. I'm going to run some errands and see if I find any great deals at the 4th sales.

It's pretty lonely without Andrew, poor guy, didn't even realize today was the holiday!! (They don't do holidays during Survival training!) No fireworks on base this year, but I'm sure we'll hear plenty later!! Thankfully, neither dog is bothered at all by the fireworks (or all the lightning/thunder we had earlier!)

Sheesh... I am waaay behind on my things.  Sorry kids!

me: Yay, I have you addicted to Bellen now!

In honor of Independence Day, show us something patriotic.

Gavin on the 4th

How are you celebrating the 4th of July?

I washed a very large dog and a load of laundry, cooked five meals (so far) and have to go pick up a prescription.

Livin' the rock star life, I am!

I was watching Oprah today and it interviewed Women in their 30's across America and it was interesting how diverse it really was. Being a Woman in my 30's it made me think about what it means to me.

I am not where I thought I would be at 36, and I do not think I am alone when I say this. Many Woman find themselves in this position. I had imagined one of two places...married with a couple children with a nice house and or single with a lucrative career and living the glamouros life of travel, beautiful clothes, fabulously interesting friends and any man I want. Well as you can see the last vision was mostly my pre-adult view. Interestingly the two visions are so different and seem to be derived from the family life I was brought into anf my own desire to be somethng different.

Where am I stuck in between...my divorce derailed the lovely fictional family I was going to have and with an exception of being single and having fabulous friends well there is nothing glamouros going on here. I guess in many ways I am fine with that having that kind of single life takes so much work and money and the family life would be fabulous only with the right partner who was supportive.

Being in my mid 30's has been a strange thing for me because I had to learn to be single for the first time ever, never been alone. So I chose to take this time to learn about myself and find out what I really do want with my life. I think the best thing about your 30's is that you realize the important part friends play in your life and you choose those friends much more wisely, you learn to be flexible because life does throw you some curve balls, and you begin to become much more comfortable in your own skin.

I view success differently as well. In my early adult years success was all superficial things...the car you drove, the salary you took home, the clothes you wore, and the places your traveled to. Well these days sometimes success is as small as I got through the day with a smile on my face. It is much more internal for me. You know those days when you wake up and you just know mentally and emotionally it is going to be a tough one?? I now give myself space to work through it the best I can I am more patient with myself and realize that I need to give myself the respect I deserve first and foremost. I also know that I do not have all the answers and tomorrow will most likely bring a whole new list of questions, concerns and challenges for me to overcome.

I gave up the plan, I do not know where I will be 4 years from now I am not even sure where I will be 4 days from now so why plan? No I am not wandering through life aimlessly let's just say I have become much more flexible these days and realize well to enjoy what the results produce.

So cheers to being a Woman in your 30's and learning to want and love the life you have afterall this moment too shall pass.

Two hundred thirty two years ago (or, if you're all Abe on us, 11 score and 12 years ago) a bunch of traiterous, fraternal geniuses set forth to piss off the Old Country.

They did it rather well.

I'm pinko liberal (not quite Commie -- pink ala Hello Kitty) and so I will try to avoid disparaging the presidents I haven't agreed with; however do please note that I agree that only Nixon could go to China, that it's hard to dislike Regan, and that FDR deserved all 4 terms. I note that people made fun of Lincoln and Kennedy but I think were they offered the choice between our current president and Jake Kennedy or Abe Lincoln they'd roll their eyes in protest of the askance.

That aside, as a pinko liberal I have many things I'm thankful for.

• I can make fun of our current administration (or past ones) without fear of reprisal either in the workplace or my personal life. I can do it publicly, at the top of my voice, and in the most annoying fashion that occurs to me.
• I can debate said administrations with friends as adults and intellectual equals. That said, I can choose to ignore people who piss me off and/or I think are intellectually stunted. Neaner neaner.
• I can elect to own a firearm. Or not. (I do not. I intend to. But like voting with study, I believe if you are going to own one you should know how to arm it, clean it, shoot it, and use it properly. And don't point it without intent to do what you may need to do).
• I can vote. I can say if I do or do not like a candidate and my vote will count as much as the twit up the street, if that means all my vote does is counteract hers, then fine.
• As a woman, I can hold a position of power. I can manage. I can own my own home, my own property, and raise my son. I can wear shorts and a tank top in public and the only fear I have about exposed flesh is that the latte I just ingested makes it less attractive than if I hadn't.
• I am innocent until proven guilty.
• I do not have to have religion. I am free to choose one or not, and I am not required to observe anything.

Some things would be nice. Universal healthcare, in its most utopian sense, for example. But even the Canadians I know have dislikes of their system so I haven't the answer there. I would prefer we were not acting as the police of the world: we have enough problems at home. I would prefer we kept tabs on the government debt like we encourage our constituents to: we don't need to rack up more on the governmental credit card. Polonius was right, folks: neither a borrower or a lender be.

And while I shouldn't sing (even though I did today, for Ali's birthday -- happy B-day, Ali!) and you won't find me singing "I'm proud to be an American" any time soon (or sober), I do wish our country a happy birthday.  I think we're doing some things right, some things less right, and some things wrong; but I relish the freedom to be able to say it publicly :)

Not keeping track terribly well since I've last blogged. Too many weird positives and negatives in the last few days and my algebraic algorithms are all atwitter. I'm going to say things are positive in my area right now, but some of my dearest are going through rough times.

A dear friend's daughter got bit by their dog (accident!) (no it wasn't a pit bull), which as a parent has to be the most brutal thing to go through. They are doing amazingly well and their daughter is healing very well -- Evergreen hospital in Totem Lake apparently has a pediatric plastic surgeon on staff and did wonders, as day to day the wound appears to be healing faster and faster.

Another dear friend's parents announced they are divorcing. Completely out of the blue, and not terribly well understood, it's left him wondering how and what and why. I attended to this as a 7 year old: my life was easy then, I didn't have to "perform" at work or attend to other adult responsibilities, and most of the mental intricacies of the situation were not within my understanding (ignorance can indeed be bliss). How do you counsel an adult through his parents' divorce? My heart and hopes are with him. And his parents, they're good people. It's harsh when this happens and you don't know what to say.

I had a candidate who flew well through phone interviews and tanked on the in-person, my 5th head remains open. I am trying not to get discouraged. I have learned as a manager that you hold out for the best, and if that means the best isn't graduating for oh, say, a year, then so be it. It's easier to hold out for a rock star than to settle and pay that price.

My 'rents closed on their new house, but unfortunately the junk they have to contend with (MRSA infections, cat pee everywhere) means they aren't moving their stuff until nearly my birthday. Craft room will have to wait, but I'd rather they got the house to their liking before they move.

The kilt is going really well, I've steeked the pleats (that's where you cut away the excess and then sew it closed so it won't fray) and then reinforced them (so they won't spread with wear). Next up is some more reinforcing with canvas. I went to Jo-Ann's today (my local fabric stores are gone, I have to go 20 minutes away to get fabric now) and they were having an incredible sale. I have yet another project on my list for when the kilt is done; I'm thinking that I'm one of those people who needs an impossible length of things to do for me to be happy. I suppose it's better than being one of those who invents drama, but I'm not sure.

And that's the catch up for recent days. I'll be doing a second post today, for a special occasion.

The Nun Generator  Sister Lonnie Smolderwrath or Sister Luwella Gruelcaster

British Town Name Generator  Six Chipperchesterhead on Piffle, Shropshire or Burp on Elk, Cardiff

The Lewd Sex Act Generator  The Full Frontal Hog Fireman or The Smelly Beaver Corkscrew

I'm not clever enough for this one, but give the Custom Receipt Maker a shot and show us what you come up with

Passion

Everyone has talents and passions. You can have a talent for writing, painting, cooking, listening, driving, acting and the like. Unfortunately in our society talents and passions that make money are valued most. This is a shame, because many talents that don't make you money, can be valuable, not just for yourself, but also for the people around you. When you write poetry, read someone a book, or make music, you can make someone feel better.

Never too old ...

A lot of people stop developing themselves at an early age. They think the brain is at its top around the age of 25. Yes, memorising a list takes more effort at 40 than at 20. However, it's wrong to think it isn't possible to learn new things. The brain changes constantly. Reacting to the things you do, think and feel, the brain adapts all the time, and new brain cells are developed, new connections between brain cells are being made. By acting in a certain way, you can influence this process.

Practise every day memorising numbers, and you'll see it gets easier. There will be more brain activity in the hippocampus, a part of the forebrain, that belongs to the limbic system and plays major roles in short term memory and spatial navigation. The brain cells will be stimulated and new connections will be made. Memorising numbers will get easier. Compare this to rebuilding a sandy road to a highway. The latter will allow you to drive much faster, and it's more comfortable.

The same is true for playing the violin, learning a new language, or dealing with emotions: you're never too old to learn.

Develop your talents

In order to develop yourself, you will have to know what it is you'd like to learn. Some talents are obvious, yet not always. Someone with a talent for drawing, might not recognise their talent if they were told art isn't important. How can you know you've got a talent for playing the piano, if you've never ever played?

Perhaps your school grades have put you on the wrong track. Many people confuse good grades with talents. Perhaps the bad grades you got, gave you the idea you can't learn something new. It's a pity bad grades risk discouraging you.

Often there's an underlying problem. People differ in the way they learn things. It is commonly believed that most people favour some particular method of interacting with, taking in, and processing stimuli or information. The way we learn things in general and the particular approach we adopt when dealing with problems is said to depend on a somewhat mysterious link between personality and cognition; this link is referred to as cognitive style. When cognitive styles are related to an educational context, they are generally referred to as learning styles, cognitive, affective, and physiological traits that are relatively stable indicators of how learners perceive, interact with, and respond to the learning environment. Over 80 learning style models have been proposed, each consisting of at least two different styles. Right now, let's stick to a two style model.

Field independence and field dependence

Field independence

This person finds it relatively easy to detach an experienced (perceived) item from its given background.

The item is extractable because it is perceived as having a rudimentary meaning on its own; thus it can be moved out of its presented surroundings and into a comprehensive category system---for understanding (and "filing" in memory).

Tendency to show traits of introversion (the person’s mental processing can be strongly activated by low-intensity stimulus; hence dislikes excessive input).

Tendency to be "reflective" and cautious in thinking task.

Any creativity or unconventionality would derive from individual’s development of criteria on a rational basis.

Performs best on analytical language tasks (e.g. understanding and using correct syntactical structures; semantically ordered comprehension of words; phonetic articulation).

Favours material tending toward the abstract and impersonal; factual or analytical; useful; ideas.

Has affinity for methods which are: focused; systematic; sequential; cumulative.

Likely to set own learning goals and direct own learning; (but may well choose or prefer to use---for own purpose---an authoritative text or passive lecture situation.

"Left hemisphere strengths"

Greater tendency to experience self as a separate entity; with, also a great deal of internal differentiation and complexity.

Personal identity and social role to a large extent self-defined.

More tendency to be occupied with own thoughts and responses; relatively unaware of the subtle emotional content in interpersonal interactions.

Relatively less need to be with people.

Self-esteem not ultimately dependent upon the opinion of others.

Field dependence

This person experiences item as fused with its context; what is interesting is the impression of the whole.

Item is experienced and comprehended as part of an overall associational unity with concrete and personal interconnections; (item’s storage in, and retrieval from, memory is via these often affectively-charged associations).

Tendency to show traits of extraversion (person’s mental processing is activated by relatively higher-intensity stimulus; therefore likes rich, varied input.

Tendency to be "impulsive" in thinking tasks; "plays hunches".

Any creativity or unconventionality would derive from individual’s imaginativeness or "lateral thinking".

Performs best on tasks calling for intuitive "feel" for language (e.g. expression; richness of lexical connotation; discourse; rhythm and intonation).

Prefers material which has a human, social content; or which has fantasy or humour; personal; musical, artistic.

Has affinity for methods in which various features are managed simultaneously; realistically; in significant context.

Less likely to direct own learning; may function well in quasi-autonomy (e.g. "guided discovery"); (but may well express preference for a formal, teacher dominated learning arrangement, as a compensation for own perceived deficiency in ability to structure.

"Right hemisphere strengths".

Tendency to experience and relate not as a completely differentiated "self but rather as---to a degree--- fused with group and with environment.

Greater tendency to defer to social group for identity and role-definition.

More other-oriented (e.g. looking at and scrutinizing other "faces; usually very aware of other" feelings in an interaction; sensitive to "cues".

Greater desire to be with people.

Learning performance much improved if group or authority figure give praise.

Back to talents

Many women have a field dependent learning style. This style isn't better nor worse than an independent learning style. The problem is that in many schools, an emphasis on the independent learning style is dominant. More abstract topics, like mathematics or chemistry, become even more difficult when they are taught  to people with a dependent learning style as if everyone has an independent learning style.

If those topics were taught in a different way, people with a dependent learning style would perform better.

Don't go by school grades too much. Don't let grades discourage you and put you off. Let yourself be led by your heart, by things you enjoy. On the other hand, don't make things too difficult for yourself. Develop your talents, not the things you think you ought to be good at.

Once you've found something you're good at, or something that's challenging to you, you'll experience a happy feeling. It's possible you'll get into a situation called flow. Flow is the mental state of operation in which the person is fully immersed in what he or she is doing by a feeling of energised focus, full involvement, and success in the process of the activity. Proposed by positive psychologist Mihály Csíkszentmihályi, the concept has been widely referenced across a variety of fields. In retrospect people often describe this feeling as "everything fell into place" or "I experienced bliss".

Discovering your talents

Following tips can help you to discover and develop your talents.

Find an activity you really like. Ask yourself what you liked in the past. What did you like as a child? Perhaps you can keep a diary in which you write down the moments you felt happy. What were you doing at that moment? If you really don't know what you'd like, you might consider getting tested. Tests might show you your strengths and weaknesses, and which profession or activity might suit you best. Also ask family and friends what they think suits you, and what your strengths and weaknesses are.

Set goals. Developing your talents means you've got to set goals. You want to get better at something. Make your goal realistic and specific. Imagine what you're going to do, and when. Don't say "I am going to learn Spanish" but say "I am going to follow a Spanish language course in September at the Open University".

Challenge yourself. It's most motivating setting a goal that is just above the level you're sure you'll reach. If you go out running, make it your goal to run a couple of hundred metres (but not too many metres) more than yesterday. If you're writing a report, write a report about a topic you've never written about before, but not a totally unfamiliar topic. This way you'll expand your limits, but in a realistic way.

Follow a course. Perhaps it's necessary to follow a course in order to develop your talents. Try finding a course that fits your learning style.

Find partners. Partners who have the same goals, can help you overcome obstacles, motivate you and inspire you. It's nice to develop your talents in the company of others (working together, playing sports together, studying together, ... ).

Believe in yourself. It is easier to develop your talents if you feel confident about yourself and your skills. You won't have a fear of failure and it's easier to concentrate.

What do you want to achieve?

Research shows that if people write down their goals (I want to start my own company within the next two years, I want to learn to play the piano better within a year, ...), their success rate is higher. When you write down your goal, you connect yourself with this goal, and you'll be more motivated.

Write down which talents you want to develop and which goals you want to achieve. Don't forget to set a time period.

Then look at the obstacles, such as money, time, health problems, lack of energy, negative thoughts about yourself, lack of support or help, ... What is the biggest obstacle, and what can you do about it? Talk to people with the same goals, and learn from them.